I'm glad things can come to a conclusion, somehow.

A part of me feel relief.

I understand this is only the best way for us now.

I confess i was hesitated at first.

But slowly think about it and listened to what your explanation, i start to realised you can be right too. I know i got a lot of opinion lah! I at first doubt what!

You also know my brain very slow one mah.

.

.

ANYWAY,

I know i'm very fan somtimes lah.

i'll try to change this.

I'm not gonna give you anymore pressured and keep forcing you already.

Just go with the flow ba.

Hopefully everything wil turn better.

Pray***

如果听实话，只会更伤

宁愿将你的谎话，当作善良

反正结局是这样

晓得细节又怎样

想好聚好散 完美伪装..

可是被你的拥抱 击溃眼眶..

不愿成全 不想原谅..

但自尊太好强..

最怕旧情人 像怜悯的眼光..

爱的太逞强

无论多眷恋也不祈求不勉强..

不爱我的我不想..

讲得洒脱却感伤..

总是爱的太逞强

怎么你竟让我不能忘不能放..

痛.. 还想..

.

.

戴上了墨镜 隔绝目光

然后带上了耳机 紧贴悲伤..

到人群里去流浪 也不一个人在家..

越苦的情歌 越要敢唱..

回忆最满的地方 坐一晚上..

不要埋藏 才能释放..

虽然痛会很长..

爱不会留下 太容易疗的伤..

爱的太逞强

无论多眷恋也不祈求不勉强.. 不爱我的我不想.. 讲得洒脱却感伤.. 总是爱的太逞强 怎么你竟让我不能忘不能放.. 痛.. 还想..

请看着我，说你还爱我

别把空气，狠狠的冷冻

谁都有错。也谁都没错

都因为相爱比相守更加难懂

我们要 对峙到何时才停手

已经想通 已经认错

释怀应该不远了

既然是爱的就不该放了

我相信我们会更好的

爱情别给的吝啬

亲爱的我们会更好的

因为都舍不得

抱怨会淡忘

固执会流亡

爱情 会教人成长

知道吗 你的笑对我有多重要

我是真的以为 爱你是幸福的

I thought i can put down everything.

But why you still haunt me?

Why when i wanted to move on, things that concerned about you still came to me?

Why do i have to know the whole world is spreading that we've ended?

Is these telling me that you're not gonna come back anymore?

I won't ask for you to be back anymore.. It's torturing me all these while..

Even how busy i am at work, i can't help but to hide and teared.

I'm so tired..

parent went oversea, i'm all alone in the room.

At night, all dark..and nightmare haunt me again and again.

Woke up in a fright..

Do you know how painful it is?

Writing the same words on the paper again and again, repeating the same song umpteen times.

And I still have to act nothing normally..

i touched it and i was burned. i've learnt my lesson..

Why relief is still so far away from me?

This world is too cruel for me..

Tomorrow is the day that marks our third years.

How i wish you'll still be by my side.

Can i not let this day come by?

Cus it's devastating to know that i'll be alone..

So what i'm gonna do tomorrow?

Drink Drank Drunk?

Or stay home watch series and series of show?

What a life i had now.

All cus of my fault..

FML.

Guess you'll never gonna see these anymore?

I've made you so utterly disappointed..

Can you just listen to me once?

All i said to you is real..

At that point of time, i really thought everything is gone.

I've lost my conscience, i'm super depress..

I thought you're gone, you're never gonna come back..

That mistake, i'll bear the consequences..

Yes, like you said it only took a month for me to do that.

And you said that's how i measured our love, that's how i prove to you how important you are to me..

I'm sorry.. At that point of time, all i think was you..

I didn't expect things will happened this way..

But you're never gonna come back this time..

I broke the trust..

I broke everything between us..

I've Hurt you..

I'm the one who ruined all the things we had together.

But i just hope you'll gimme one more chance..

To prove to you i'm not like what you've said..

I'm not the same as any other girl..

I never wanna give up all these while despite you build wall between us.

Despite so much thing happened between us..

Still, it gave me the strength to love you more..

Please trust me this time hao mahs?

Please gimmi a chance..

To prove you wrong..

Dont care what others will think..

Just me and you.

Days with you to me is still a very happy moments.

Everythings tend to work out well all these days.

And i'm so surprised to receive such lovely presents from you which i will never think you will done that.

It's the happiest 21st birthday i had.

.

.

Though sometimes i may throw tantrum, give attitude or don't care you, you always have your way to handle me.

when times you scolded me, i know you're doing me good.

But yet i didn't care.

I do feel bad somehow.

But sometimes your words are really harsh.

It do hurts.

And i choose not to talk back you because i know when i talk back things will get more worse.

So i would rather wait for everything to cool down and talk again.

.

.

I know i should have confidence in you.

Rmb once i told you i don't feel secure?

I feel that somehow something is holding you back.

you look empty.

Can you prove to me that you're faithful enough for me?

It's not that i don't trust you..

I know at work you're stress enough.

I will try my best not to make you angry always..

Today is a super moody day for me..

Pls tell me what to do hao mahs?

i really very angry with myself..

Somehow, it's so painful for me..

What if there's really one day i really saw something that i duns wish to happen?

The one that once you hug, kiss, miss, love, hang out with, laugh with, watch movie with, eat with, talk with, sleep with, is not gonna be the same person anymore..

Why i just can't get over it?!

Your action is already so obvious to me already.

Why am i still clinging on to?!

Why i still hope one day i still can get to listen to your voice, get to feel your warmth again?

Why am i still hoping for that?

I'm so fucking useless!

i wanna forget about you seriously you know?

It's painful...

Very painful....

Seeing you treating others nice and sweet...

You make me feel so impossible for us anymore..

One day i'll still see you happily with the next one you have..

Taking lovely pictures, everything will change eventually..

Probably all the albums and memories we had, they'll be deserted to one corner..

Everything will be new..

But if one day you were to throw it away, pls return me hao mahs?

Everything that belong to us..

For now, i'll learn to move on..

Do you believe there's another dimension?

Maybe in that dimension, we're happily together..

No worries, no nothing..

Lols..

I think dream is a very special thing..

You tend to remember a person's face when you duns even remember when you're awake.

You can even feel it somehow too.

Cool uh.

But when it comes to nightmare, it's nothing cool anymore :/

What's makes you feel scary during a nightmare?

Maybe things that you duns want it to happen on the reality, often happen in your dream..

I got it sometime.

The most funny and scary dreamt i had is fighting with walking dead. Lols.

And i woke up sweating like hell. Haas.

But sometimes, i dreamt of what i'm hoping for.

How i wish i'll never wake up.

I'll just live in my dream :)

Have you ever come across a feeling whereby you're so concentrate with your works and suddenly you had this feeling of heart ache?

And out of sudden you're un-interested with everything.

It's really so weird.

I had it yesterday while i'm at work.

It just strike me like out of no where.

Maybe the song that played on the radio reminded me of something?

i dunno..

I just know that i must be strong.

Hey, I did said that i'm getting better but i still need sometimes okay.

It's not like i said i'm fine and i can totally forget about everything. I just choose not to think anymore.

I must be responsible for what i've said.

And i'll never regret, i can't.

It's not gonna turn back time.